Thursday, January 15, 2009

The December Roundup

The good, the bad and the ones that caused arguments in December...

The best 3 films we saw this month:

Terminator 2

Is this the perfect sci fi?It's violent,frightening and exlosive.Haunting score and CGI that refuses to age.


A cops & robbers story like you've never seen before. De Niro & Pacino combine sublimely in Mann's stunning, intense crime study

The Dark Knight


Nolan's crime epic is not just the best comic book movie ever made or the film of 2008, it's a visionary masterpiece

The worst 3 films we saw this month:

The Happening

Shyamalan’s decent hits all time low with this abysmal eco-horror. Embarrassing on all fronts. Worst film of 2008.

Sex And The City

Bad for the soul and mankind as a whole. It's as superficial and shallow as its pathetic anti-feminist protagonists.

Saw V


More dross from the franchise that should have quit after great original. You could endure less painful bouts of root canal.

And the one that we couldn't agree on...

Hellboy 2

Del Toro's imagination runs wild as Big Red's back on comic form in a fun yet predicable film.Good but no Pan's Labyrinth.

The others from December

The Changeling

9/10. Compelling heart-wrenching drama of a bleak,corrupt 20s LA.More proof that Eastwood is 1 of America's most vital filmmakers

Lakeview Terrace

6/10. A tense and strange thriller with mixed messages about racial tensions in the US. Won over by a terrifying Samuel L

The Terminator

9/10. A relentless, iconic sci-fi thriller defining Arnie's movie career with Cameron giving birth to a genre. Phenomenal.

Speed Racer

7/10. Good fun and laugh out loud cheesy at points.Incredibly colourful and visually stunning.


5/10. Controversial I know but...bad acting, patronising fake science and a travesty to the cartoon. Although La Beouf is good.

Saw V

2/10. More dross from the franchise that should have quit after great original. You could endure less painful bouts of root canal.

Ghost Town

7/10. Not groundbreaking but a pleasant, witty comedy in a gorgeously shot NY.Strong cast as Gervais steals it in first lead film.

Burn After Reading

8/10. Hilarious, sharp and original.A brilliant snapshot of a mad world.Understated Simmons is a hero.Coen's on a roll.

24 Redemption

7/10. Jack's back.But in Africa.Cracking but not vintage 24.Fresh angle blending apt presidency theme with some classic Bauer

Quantum of Solace

6/10. Disappointing. Weak villain &messy plot but good Bourne-style action. Craig comes out unscathed still a hard-edged Bond.

Prince Caspian

4/10. The novel aside this is a poor sequel to a poor first film. Great CGI but laughable acting and a very, very dull score.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sex and the City

Our 10 Second Review

Sex And The City: 4/10. Bad for the soul and mankind as a whole. It's as superficial and shallow as its pathetic anti-feminist protagonists.

Our 90 Second Review

We thought that because of the nasty 10 Second Review we gave this film, we'd better back it up with some more evidence.

This film is an atrocity. The only reason why it got 4 instead of a 1 is because there is a really well done sequence with Miranda one and her boyfriend on a bridge which is actually very good.

Click here to see it.

Apart from that 3mins, it is materialistic and shallow and worships clothes, shoes and jewellery. Unfortunately this programme is so popular that I fear for the future. With millions of young girls using these four messed up women as role models who practice and almost religious worship of 'stuff', where does that leave future generations of aspiring glamour girls?

For the lucky few who haven't seen it, the plot is simple. Four filthy rich filthy New York girls live out their lives chasing love, lust and laundrey. Carry is a writer who almost gets married to her 'dream man' (ie old enough to be her dad and stinking rich) but gets caught up in making the wedding a 'magazine special' so he jilts her at the alter. The rest of the film is about her rebuilding her life until right at the end they get back together.

Normally I could tolerate this sort of hedonistic fantasy and the old TV series used to be pretty entertaining. Much like watching Entourage, Sex And The City used to be 30 mins of watching people live awesome lives with the occasional sex scene thrown in for good meassure. But when it's on the big screen it all changes. Instead of just giving us this pleasure, Hollywood insists on ramming moral messages down our throats. Morals are can only be described as wobbly at best and fickle and confusing at worst.

Exhibit A- Don't force a bloke who doesn't want to get married to marry you or you will get jilted, have a few months apart, get back together and then get married.

Exhibit B- Life is about finding your one true love. Oh and getting a pair of Louis Vitton shoes, Channel dress and stupid hat.

Exhibit C- you don't need a man when you've got the girls. But bear in mind that without one, you will feel hollow, poor and sad.

The worst thing about this film is that despite all of this, there is no hint of irony. When the music rises to a crescendo in one of about 100 tear-jerk moments, I think that the filmakers believe that they are making profound comments about modern life.

Overall: 4/10. Unfortunately, as this sort of heartless rubbish is popular we will no doubt see more and more callous cashcows in future years.